love the way you lie.

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean

And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine

But your temper's just as bad as mine is

You're the same as me

But when it comes to love you're just as blinded

Baby, please come back

It wasn't you, baby it was me

Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems

Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano

All I know is I love you too much to walk away though.

- Eminem

loud.

Rihanna – Loud
one of her most biggest break-throughs since her previous album rated r. however unlike her 2nd to latest record, loud has a brighter demeanor consisting of  upbeat tracks with a soft tone where as everyone can relate to romantically & emotionally, especially the ladies. celebrating to cheers drink to that. intimacy to whats my name ft. drake. & maliciousness of a relationship with i love the way you lie [pt. ii] ft. eminem. so yeup, pretty good good. cop her 5th debut album, in stores now since 11/12.

1. S&M

2. What’s My Name featuring Drake

3. Cheers Drink To That

4. Fading

5. Only Girl In The World

6. California King Bed

7. Man Down

8. Raining Men featuring Nicki Minaj

9. Complicated

10. Skin

11. Love The Way You Lie Part II featuring Eminem

letter: day 10.

to someone i don't talk to as much as i liked.

dear misturr layug,

guess what time it is, daaawg? it's GUCCI time! (: cut the lights on, cut the cut the lights on, homieee. real talk, out of every fckin' body, back in the day til now... i can always depend on you to never turn your back on me, regardless of what the heck others may say or think, you're always finna do you & just be coo. that's just one of the things i admire most about you besides all your fckin' jokes. be a comedian already, geeeez. haha. love the fact that i can just laugh witchu all day about stupidass shit. LOL. that week at my sister's was the best tho, rite? fruit snacks all day, bagels for dinner and shit, goin' out to grocery stores randomly. haha. then the nicest thing.... i remember this one time, i got into a hugeass bicker with my parents & you stayed up to talk on aim with me til i had to go to school cos emo ass tam didn't feel like knockin' out. 7-8 hours straightttt non-stop. i was like damn, this guy is fckin' downass nigga. thanks a bunch for always bein' there to talk to tho. i appreciate it. you don't even know. lol. now... where the hell are you now nigga?! bitchass thinks he can up & leave on us now since he gotta giiirl. pssshh. jkkk. been gone for daaays. but it's all good. i'm glad you're happy cos you deserve it. (: jhs try to come thru for once, so we can cut the lights on, you knoow? miss you nigga.

♥

photo: day 10.

current mood: tired...
current song: drake ft. young jeezy - unforgettable.

-------

a photo of my family.


my sister & me. i dunno how old i was... 4-5 maybe, probably dressed up for my birthday? shit.. i was a hecka white baby. i'm still somewhat transparent. see through, man. it's a curse. ); but yeup, if you wondering where the rest of my family went. i'm not really sure myself. everything used to be somewhat together back in the day... now its all shattered. it's just me and my sister tryna hold it down. even though, there are times where i'm just kinna ticked when she randomly busts me out, i honestly don't know where the fck i'd be if it weren't for her. probably be dealin' in the streets or some thugs girlfriend, huh? lol.

got that good good.

all them homies be flakin' on that chill time thooo. but oh yeah! world of dance! yeah! ♥

style stays.

current mood: asdjkjasfhasd? o:
current song: miguel jontel ft. j.cole - all i want is you.

------


FITS; LADIES.












FITS; FELLAS.







KICKS;


SUPRA LINE-UP : BELAY.

tbc... (:

letter: day 9.

someone i wish i could meet.

YOUR MOM.
♥

photo: day 9.

current mood: burrrrh.
current song: clazziquai project - sweety.

-------

a photo that makes me happy.




spirit week; gender bender during junior year @ SHS. 2nd picture w/ glory. forgot to be my gay lover, but  she still feeeelin' me. cos you know, swoll ass tam is a chick magnet. (; thanks for the clothes back in the day homiegee nigga phi. haha.

did you know?

HOW GANGSTURRR PHI HO IS, COS MY GOSH.... HE IS....

100 twinkies.

RULES: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. Tagged means "I'm interested in knowing what are your 100 truths" or it was random LOL. (To do this, go to "notes" under tabs on your profile page, copy and paste this note, erase my answers and enter your own, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. Last beverage: bottled water: american fallss

2. Last phone call: a representative of the bookxchange

3. Last text message: t-mobile ads, because i don't have text :'(

4. Last song you listened to: lil wayne - we be steady mobbin'; okay you're a goon but what's a goon to a goblin

5. Last time you cried: last night yo, it was intense! lol jk just a lil something something

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice: nahh, they're called exes for a reason right?

7. Been cheated on: i don't think so.

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: lol, nahhh

9. Lost someone special: i have yet to feel that type of pain, and i hope i don't have to anytime soon.

10. Been depressed: yeah, emo phi comes thru every now and then, but why stay sad?

11. Been drunk and threw up: aww yeeaaah, lightweight phi coming thru everyone watch your shoes, watch your nice shirt, watch your expensive denim, watch just about everything, theres finna be a hurricane phi. 

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12: Blue cause im so sad

13: Black cause you know all the cool people wear it ;]

14: White cause it's just so friggin friggity  fresssh.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend: Whatchu know about VSA

16. Fallen out of love: yeah, haha believe it or not people. it takes a while.

17. Laughed until you cried: nah has never happend, or has it?... 

18. Met someone who changed you: oh yeah tam yeah!

19. Found out who your true friends were: let's see... that's always a mystery for me

20. Found out someone was talking about you: yeaah, you know phi's a great topic to hate on, with his shadyness and all

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yupp

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: all or you're not getting added.

23. How many kids do you want: as many as she can handle ;]

24. Do you have any pets: nope, bigass responsibility, gotta feed it, gotta walk it, gotta talk to it, gotta hug it, gotta pet it, gotta clean after it. damn it's like having a baby.

25. Do you want to change your name: at one point yeah, because that "stick and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me" saying.... yeeeah.... doesn't really help when you're a kid growing up.

26. What did you do for your last birthday: got surprised by the homies, and ate dinner at a steak place with thee ex.

27. What time did you wake up today: 6:45ish and then 9:45AM.

28. What were you doing at midnight last night: crammin' in whatever knowledge i know of angiosperms, bryophytes, basidiomycetes, ect, hwk, and aim.

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: My 1st paycheck, ching chingtrying to get paid over here

30. Last time you saw your Mother: sunday

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: make her cheer up :/

32. What are you listening to right now: the sounds of laptops 

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: uh... tom... hien's?... friend? is his name tom? i could be trippin'

34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: uh right now? currently? at this moment? nobodys i guess.

35. Most visited web page: FB, oh yeah you know that football ;]

36. Whats your real name: Ngo Ho

37. Nicknames: Phi

38. Relationship Status: trey songz tell em what i told you, "i'm already taken" ♥

39. Zodiac sign: Aries, guess that makes me horny eh? >;] git it? git it? :D

40. Male or female: Kickass!

41. Primary School: uh... preschool? didn't attend. i'm too gangster.

42. Secondary School: Goethe/Harriet Eddy

43. High school/college: Laguna Creek High School . rockin' that cardinal tweet tweet.

44. Write w/e you want here: LOL, this shit is ridiculous

46. Height: 5'7ish? but i wish i was a little bit taller, something something i would call her. lol whatchu know about fresh princee of bel-air

47. Do you have a crush on someone: crussh! i'd be crushing her all day yo. with my saturated soma. << look at that bio reference, gettin too geeked up over here.

 48. What do you like about yourself: oh yeah about time, my favorite question right here. first of all, i gotta say man, my ass.. it's just out of this world. i mean, i don't even know how i can put on skinnys. and then oh man then there's my amazing but sharp as a knife hair. if you ever need to murk someone, oh man just hit me up and i'll shank em to death with these lethal spikes. LOL, ay yo tho, i'm jk. lol, i think i'm pretty average, nothing special that you can't find on the next guy.

49. Piercings: 2. both ears, bling bling, everytime you see me around, bling bling. and i'll uh.. let you know if i get anymore... cause birds fly down south for the winter or what? >;]

50. Tattoos: okay, i have a confession to make. you know question 41? yeah scroll up to see what it was. did you do it? alright if u did then you'd know i said i was gangster. but the sad truth is... i'm not. :( i don't have any tattoos. im so not gangster :'(

51. Righty or lefty: righty because my left hand's handwriting sucks like the leeches in thee amazon jungle

FIRSTS:

52. First surgery: not yet, and i hope not anytime soon, shits too scary.

53. First piercing: Left ear, yup just the left. cause i'm so gangster

54. First best friend: memory issues don't allow me to recall

55. First sport you joined: none, you know why? oh you gotta know by now. if you don't, i'll tell you later... maybe in question number 77.

56. First vacation: damn, must have been baby stats. memory issues you know.. yeah gotta go to frys electronics one time to get a new memory stick one time you feeeel? ;]

58. First pair of trainers: whatchu know about payless shoes homie

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating: naah, my hands are too busy typing.

60. Drinking: not even, the hands are not wanting ze food or ze drinky drinks

61. I'm about to: finish this thing, oh man something like forty more questions to go.

62. Listening to: listening to? man i couldda sworn i had this question already. laptop noises yo.

63. Waiting for: thursday... to come, so i can see her pretty face slim waist withaaaa big BEHIND.

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids: for sureee, little phi's running around. would make the world a better place.

65. Get married: if she says yes. so far she has rejected me 23421854328945 times. but i'll getchu one day :]

66. Career: street racer... cause you know it now? yeah? alright then, finally got with the program. but for you slowbros, its cause im TOO. jk lol uh maybe... pharmacy? we'll see where life takes me.

WHICH IS BETTER:

67. Lips or eyes: LOL i ain't even gotta decide, she drives me crazy with both.

68. Hugs or kisses: she kisses when she hugs me

69. Shorter or taller: shorter cause you know, i like my shortys ;] oh but uh nah no, i also like them tall girls too you know ;] cause you know... theres just something about them >;] rawr 

70. Older or Younger: younger... 3 years... younger :)

71. Romantic or spontaneous: girls being romantic and spontaneous? i thought that was our jobs guys? haha well uh... i guess spontaneous because i like being surprised? by the little things. but then romantics cool too its just i see the romantic title being attached more to guys than girls. so im finna rock with spontaneous chyea chyea.

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Rawr >:< she got the body of a goddessss!

73. Sensitive or loud: be reaaaal, with that gentle touch.

74. Hook-up or relationship: relationships cause i don't want what everybody already had.

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger: who THE hell does that? lol real talk. 

77. Drank hard liquor: h to the e double hockey sticks YEAH! because i'm GANGSTER! << [note] this is the answer to question number 55.

78. glasses/contacts: Glasses cause i have a fear of poking my eye with... stuff.

79. Sex on first date: Aww YEAH! Gettin' it in! YEAH! sikeees lol can't even. dicks gotta mind of its own.

80. Broke someone's heart: yup cause you know if you fall for me, i'm not easy to please, i might tear you apart, told you from the start, i'm only going to break break break break your heart 

82. Been arrested: PSSH, ay yo, ay yo. You already know. TWO WORDS.  "too gangster". LOL jk nah.

83. Turned someone down: yeeezirrs

84. Cried when someone died: everytime i envision it :'(

85. Fallen for a friend: too deep. so deep, i'm drownin'

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: who else? santa claus? pssh.

87. Miracles: I've heard stories. but then again i gots one myself. my identity was returned to me from the lord! praise the lord! JESUS oh JESUS! 

88. Love at first sight: oh yeah for those of you who don't believe in it. try going to lollicup sometime ;]

89. Heaven: she's my heaven on earth <3

90. Santa Claus: heeeyyy! looky here, santa claus, i was just talking about you in question 86. what a coincidence lol, tell me why you never came :'(

91. Kiss on the first date: idk... too shy. might jiiizzzzz in my pantsss

92. Angels: god sent me an angel from the heavens abooooveee. sent me an angel... to heal my broken heart from beeiiinng in loveeee.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: I got HELLUH BFS. no homo :]

95. Did you sing today: just now. tam's so fine, oooh tam's so fine.

96. Ever cheated on somebody: nopee, that's a sin yo. a seeeeeen.

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: when she was just born and record her so she will believe my amazing red tricycle story.

98. The moment you would choose to re-live: all them good times, but the one sticking out to me right now would be the night of the meteor shower.

99. Are you afraid of falling in love: maybe. it drives me trey songz crazy sometimes.

100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths: OH SHIT, i'm at 100? I didn't even notice. finally. this shit was too long. and DO YOU KNOW WHY?.... oh man if you smart, you probably guessed it. that's right. it's three words this time. I'm too gangster.

TOO GANGSTUR! ♥

space bound.

"We touch, I feel a rush, we clutch, it isn't much

But it's enough to make me wonder what's in store for us

It's lust, it's torturous, you must be a sorcerous

Cause you just, did the impossible, gained my trust

Don't play games it'll be dangerous if you fuck me over

Cause if I get burnt, I'ma show ya what it's like to hurt

Cause I've been treated like dirt befo' ya

And love is "evol", spell it backwards, I'll show ya."

- Eminem.

hopefully manageable.

seriously, i need to STFU. i am me, always have, always will be. just a little lost right now, but i'll slowly find my damn way, & i'll pull through. my life sucks ass, but it's fckin' hard for everyone. why should i let bullshit pull me down now when i've gone so far without it. don't give a fck if my family ain't never there. they never have been anyways. who cares about fakeass friends who'll turn their backs on you. the people in the past shouldn't even matter over the people who still stayed in your present & promised within future. school is school, it's alot of work, but i'll graduate if i just push a little harder. what if i have problems with myself? i'm not that talented. i don't think i'm the prettiest. i'm not all that smart either. no one's perfect, but i can try my best. every single mistake in the past, i can make it up by doing better in the future. yeah. i'm struggling financially. so what? economy sucks. but i'll manage to scrape up a job someday. it shouldn't stop me from doing what i love or long to do. i will fckin' continue to dance, i can relearn piano, & i'm still mothafckin' singing even tho i think i suck. i know i can be the best girlfriend he's ever had. better believe, i can do whatever the fck i want to & i will if i build some faith in myself. i needa get my shit together, & stop feeling bad for myself. be happy, live life, & hold my head up like my nose is bleedin'. i ain't finna cry no more. whats there to fckin' mope about?! you can't have a high without a low & shit... its about time for me to get my ass high. foreals. fuck you tam. have some motivation, will you? geeez.

going through changes.

"I feel like I'm losing control of myself, I sincerely,

Apologize if all that I sound like is I'm complaining,

But life keeps on complicating, an' I'm debating,

On leaving this world, this evening, even my girls,

Can see I'm grievin', I try and hide it,

But I can't, why do I act like I'm all high and mighty,

When inside, I'm dying, I am finally realizing I need help.

I can't do it by myself, too weak, 2 weeks I've been having ups and downs,

Going through peaks and valleys, dilly dallying,

Around with the idea, of ending the shit right here.

I'm hatin' my reflection, I walk around the house tryin' to fight mirrors,

I can't stand what I look like, yeah, I look fat, but what do I care?"

- Eminem.

happy 4 months.

current mood: chilly.

current song: trey songz - more than that.

------

it doesn't matter to me, what we're doing or where we're at. i feel like everyday i get to spend with you is a happy anniversary. i'm sorry it couldn't been as nice as it possibly can be. just want you to know that i feel lucky enough to have you with me. thanks for everything you continue to do tho. all my down days, you always manage to bring it back up again with your sillyass. love you lots, foreal. dunno where the heck i be at if it weren't for god blessing me with sucha great guy like you in my life. you're awesome. ♥

stay with me.

you know i would support you in anything that you do, good or bad, even if i don't like it at all. but damn, if you really had a mindset for joining the military, i'd probably go insane missing you non-stop & worrying 24/7. promise, i won't leave you, just probably be one lost puppy waiting for the day when you come back home & put my thumb over the moon every night, you know. 'i'll see you soon.' yeah....

rewind, play, fast-forward.

“I think a persons life is supposed to be like a DVD. You can see the version everyone else sees, or you can choose the directors cut-the way he wanted you to see it, before everything else got in the way. There are menus, probably, so that you can start at the good spots and not have to relive the bad ones. You can measure your life by the number of scenes you’ve survived, or the minutes you’ve been stuck there. Probably, though, life is more like one of those dumb video surveillance tapes. Grainy, no matter how hard you stare at it. And looped: the same thing, over and over.”

- Jodi Picoult.

letter: day 8.

my favorite internet friend.

dear justin tran,

oh snaaps, this my nigga rite heree! haha. where the hell you at now breh? ): damn tho, yous was the first follower of my blog. i didn't even notice you until you just randomly added me up on aim & started to talk to me. gotta admit, i was fckin' scuurredd, like who the fck this weird ass nigga from the internet stalkin' up on my blog for? haha. but you turned out to be a coo guy who just liked my taste in music & who wouldn't rite? jk. i remember you always be tellin' me how shy you was. oh nawww, i don't think shy boys would straight up talk to girls online they don't even know. hecka trippin. hated how you always try to play me tho, aboutta sneak you in the face one time foreal. LOL. could never tell whether yous was lying or not cos you still a stranger. & there are times where you just pissed the fck out of me cos you be too sensitive over stupid shit. all good. chap lookin' bitch nigga always be the most def favorite internet cuddie tho. real talk, can't believe you got drafted again you buffass new orleans marine man. i hope you stay safe. better get me somes to drink when you get back, i'm always thirstay. you know what it is. miss your ugly fagget ass. buku looove from back home! beastmode on 'em dookie terroristsss.

♥

THROWBAKK,
southern vs. western?

justin (1:26:28 AM): ight
justin (1:26:36 AM): when a boy get you mad u can say this too
justin (1:26:42 AM): or just say it for fun
f0kkshietitstam (1:26:44 AM): haha
justin (1:26:46 AM): hoe ass nigga dawg
f0kkshietitstam (1:26:57 AM): ohh. haha.
f0kkshietitstam (1:27:01 AM): i say
f0kkshietitstam (1:27:05 AM): pussy ass nigga why you cryin
f0kkshietitstam (1:27:06 AM): LOL
justin (1:27:08 AM): LOL
justin (1:27:09 AM): OH SHIT
justin (1:27:11 AM): LMFA
justin (1:27:12 AM): HAHAHHAHAa
justin (1:27:13 AM): haHAHAHAHAHA
justin (1:27:15 AM): OH SHIT
f0kkshietitstam (1:27:17 AM): HAHAHAH
f0kkshietitstam (1:27:19 AM): yeupyeup
justin (1:27:19 AM): DAMN
justin (1:27:22 AM): TAMMY
justin (1:27:28 AM): HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU REAL LIKE THAT
f0kkshietitstam (1:27:31 AM): LMAO
justin (1:27:34 AM): damn
justin (1:27:38 AM): i ain't fuckin wid you no more
f0kkshietitstam (1:27:38 AM): COS I DON'T NEEDA TELL YOU
justin (1:27:39 AM): real shit
f0kkshietitstam (1:27:42 AM): YOU OUGTAAA KNOOOW
justin (1:27:50 AM): LMFAO THIS GIRL

photo: day 8.

current mood: okaaays.
current song: far east movement ft. ryan tedder - rocketeer.

-------

a photo of last summer.



summer '09. peter tran came back! yaaay. chillin' around
laguna plaza @ target. then, ate w/ michelle yi
& her boothang @ el super taco. gosh, i miss them. ):