Letter: Day 14.

Someone I've drifted away from.


Dear Bestfriend,

We always be sayin how down we was and always will be. Like how we can just not communicate to one another for days and felt like nothin happened between us. Yeah, it can partially be true, but I would be lyin to myself if I was to say it's been like that with us all the time. You see, cus the reality of it all is that I've been here floatin around same boat while you're hoppin from one to another. I know there's a sayin that you can have more than one bestfriend. I understand that. I'm just tryna say that maybe I don't feel as if you need me as much as you used to or mainly at all since you have so many other people in your circle who you'd rather have be there for you besides me.

Maybe it's my bad? For being physically gone for so long. Not bein able to answer back to a "hang-out" text a few hours late cus my phone's been tossed around somewhere. I guess it's just cus I feel like everytime we do try, we fail. How many summers have we planned & they haven't worked out? Then at school.. how many times have we passed by one another and not give one another a greet? I felt like my greeting to you wouldn't matter since you seemed to be happy with your new circle of friends & I'm the intruder.

What else got me is that I feel like I'm the only one who's been puttin our friendship in the same light while you dimmed out yours. Everytime I ask you about something simple it's always a secret, where as I give you every detail of my life cus I know you have my uttermost trust & there won't be anyone else to hear it but you. I guess I lost yours along the way.

The moment that made everything relevant tho, was when we got done with Tahitian auditions for senior year.. you had asked your other friends for a ride, but as soon as they weren't able to.. that's when you came to me. After that... everything was silent. I guess I had no more words to say cus I felt kinna hurt. I knew from that instant... I wasn't your bestfriend anymore. I was just your last option... 8 long years since our friendship, but is it made out to be? I don't know. Can't blame anything else but change, huh.

<3,
Yours truly.

I was so stupid, so naive for love back then. I guess I fabricated my emotions so I can feel what everyone else was feeling. Little did I know.. everyone was feeling the same thing as I did since it wasn't as long lasted, it all fades away. If that makes sense?? Basically, looks can be deceiving. You can't base everything you see on the ouside to be the same behind closed doors. One thing I've learned on my romantic journey is that once a door closes, another one opens. You move on to find someone better. Some people aren't as lucky to open the right door.. thankfully, I was. Now that I have gone through the this door.. I guess I'm sayin I don't want it to close just yet. But what can you do? As much as I wished I could.. I don't believe in how people say.. "if it's worth it, fight for it." I've been fighting... my own way. I try to be better. I make up for my mistakes the best way I can. Though, what's there to fight for if you're in this battle alone? If it's true love you both fight to be with one another. A person's heart shouldn't be taken away, it should be a given.