i am not a human being.

Lil Wayne - I Am Not A Human Being
if you're lookin' for an album that goes hard, Lil Wayne's 6th debut album, I Am Not A Human Being, certainly does. people be tryna argue how it's not good as his previous ones such as Mr. Carter (I, II, III) or Rebirth. but shit, i am feelin' it. it's not the typical things rappers would usually rap about nowadays such as sex, money, & fame. definitely, he is a unique character with his abstract insight, clearly setting him in as a great a success for his influence & why his label Young Money has been on top of the game recently. i owe it a big thanks for helpin' me get through my long badass day. i've been slappin' it all the way home. but yeeeup. support his sorryass for being in jail, unfortunately, & cop this album! in stores now, since his 28th birthday, 9/27.

tracklist:
1. Gonorrhea (feat. Drake)
2. Hold Up (feat. T-Streets)
3. With You (feat. Drake)
4. I Am Not a Human Being
5. I’m Single (feat. Drake)
6. What’s Wrong With Them (feat. Nicki Minaj)
7. Right Above It (feat. Drake)
8. Popular (feat. Lil Twist)
9. That Ain’t Me (feat. Jay Sean)
10. Bill Gates
11. YM Banger (feat. Jae Millz, Gudda Gudda, and Tyga)
12. YM Salute (feat. Lil Twist, Lil Chuckee, Gudda Gudda, Jae Millz, and Nicki Minaj)

gee, thanks for nothin'.

current mood: cantankerous.
current song: lil wayne ft. drake - gonorrhea.

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badass week... day or what? i've been down & out cos people just be too immature as hell. i don't belong in highschool with these whackass heaads. it is what it is tho, only a couple of more months to go & i be out. swear, the week be goin' by in slow motion. it feels like forever. hoping it would get better today since its almost the end of it all, but today was worst day outta alla 'em. bombed 1st period, late 2nd period, 3rd period lasted for hecka days, 4th period fckin test was loooong.
after finishing my exam, i called up my mom about 20 minutes before class cos i wanna dip already. saved by the bell. came out, she still ain't there. when everybody left. i was still patient cos i know she takes forever doin' what she has to do, & chilled. later on, i had a feelin' that it was gettin' too long so i glanced at the time, its already been an hour since i called, still nothing. hit her phone up, don't even answer my damn calls. fuck it. thought to myself, i could've been home by now, walkin'. so, i did that & it was crazy. weathers fckin humid & my temper is outta control. i think i woulda lost it if i didn't bring my itouch today. [thanks babe.]
eventually, reachin' halfway home. i encountered this fckin' dumb diiiirtyass nigga who was comin' toward me tryna give me a hug or some shit. i was like hell naww, shook my head. tried to go around his grotty lookin' ass. but nigga tried to block my way & said some shit to me. didn't hear it tho cos of my music. my adrenaline was rushin' when that happened. therefore, i started to sprint my way out. turn around & that creepy fool be watchin' me. one of the most fckin' scariest shit of my life. i ran till the coast was clear & he was out of my sight. hecka relieved but still a bit paranoid. in order to be more aware, i took out my headphones. once i did that, i hear all these old ass niggas honkin' at me & stickin' they heads out the window. checkin' a teenager out. really? the heck is wrong with people nowadays? that's disgusting. i was soooo fuckinnnn doooone with the day, felt the need to punch some walls or somes. busted in my headphones again & tried to calm down. finally, got home after an hour of walking in this stupidass heat.
shit though, i give my mom a simple task to pick me up & she can't even do it. stays at home all damn day. showers at the wrong times. drives real slow. the fckk. at least pick up my freakin' call so i know you ain't going to then i can find a ride or somes. but naw. i come home, to your lazyass sleeping? wow. fuck this bullshit, foreal.

l o v e unfolds.

current song: christina milian - us against the world.

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past the distance.

current mood: abdefghijklmnokay.
current song: utada hikaru - flavor of life.

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long distance relationships, it surely is, can be the most difficult kind of relationship. it's straining to not have the capability of being in your significant other's presence as much as you would like to. especially if there are different agendas that don't match up with eachother's. although, distance can be hard to maintain. i don't think it is the complete blame for the stability of one's relationship. look in the mirror, that's your real problem. sorry, am i too harsh? yeah...
i'm tired of people using distance as an excuse for the downfall of their relationship. like really? are you that blind to not see the other reasons why? you don't need to spend every damn day with someone in order to have a healthy relationship. it just depends on how much you understand eachother. think about it, if you find yourself just arguing constantly over miscellaneous shit. obviously, the problem isn't distance at all. it's the lack of being able to smoothly communicate with one another.
foreals, if you're bitchin' about how often they don't come over to visit you, that's plain selfish. you think they DON'T want to see you? of course they do. recognize their circumstances before you start a fit over something that isn't even in their control. seriously, if you're the one complaining about how often they don't come over to see you... why don't you get off your ass & go visit them for a change then?
personally, i don't even get to see my boyfriend all the time. but does that bother me? naaw, it doesn't. i love him enough to understand that he has a goal to accomplish & i respect that. we're fortunate enough to spend almost every weekend together. some people don't even get to see one another for months or even years. so when i hear people complain about distance, & they're as lucky as i am to see someone every week. that's absolutely nothing compared to what others have to go through.
sometimes the distance may even feel nonexistent once you get to talk to them on the daily. its never about the quantity of time spent with them, but the quality. absence can be a positive cos it makes all the times that you do actually get to spend together more valuable. really, if you truly loved them, the distance should be nothing you guys can't overcome & everything would be worth it. why should a couple of miles ruin the big picture that you guys put so much effort in constructing?

only from afar.

timothy delaghetto - bruno mars: just the way you are (paraody).
awww snaps, this is my jam right here. hahaha.

letter: day 3.

my parents.

dear pops & mama,

can't live with you, can't live without you guys, huh. on the reals, there ain't no one in this whole world that can piss the heck out of me like you guys do. you're so unreasonable at most times that it's ridiculous. i hate how you guys are both so traditional with things & how you're so judgemental of others when you guys aren't any better yourselves. you both can be so rude, especially in public, always using foul language & trippin' over the smallest shit, taking everything out of hand. i don't like the fact that you guys choose to control me but put my sister on a pedestal & let my brother do anything he wants cos you're afraid of him. it seems like i'm the only child that you guys boss around. it ain't fair at all cos it makes me want to rebel even more; urging me to argue back. & once that happens, you guys label me as this "bad kid," wishing that you never had me. you don't realize how much it hurts when i hear that, makes me just wanna run faaaar away from home sometimes. ontop of that, you guys... can't even call me by my name, i'm always mistaken for my sisters. really? am i not important enough for you guys to simply remember my name? >;/ i just feel unappreciated. i always longed to actually be capable to confide in my parents & just talk about my day like the ones on tv. but i don't think that's ever going to happen since we're so different from one another. however, even with all the flaws, i know that throughout the years of my life, you guys have always worked hard to raise me & put a roof over my head, making sure that i am well nourished. i know sometimes, i can come off as disrespectful. i'm sorry for that. i can only take so much. hopefully, one day we can find a common ground. despite the negatives, thank you for everything you've done for me.

photo: day 3.

current mood: sillaaay willaaay.
current song: jay z ft. young jeezy - real as it gets.
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a picture that makes me laugh.



introooducingg, granny tampheezy no sheezy! 8-B
i sweaaar, i be breakin mirrors with this picture, breeh.
it's amazing what baggy sweats & glasses can do.
don't wanna grow old with me now, do you, baby? LOL.

live it up.

"Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

Love the people who treats you right.

Forget about the ones who don’t.

Believe everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance, grab it with both hands.

If it changes your life, let it.

Nobody said life would be easy.

They just promised it would be worth it."

- anonymous.

R.i.P. Jimmy Doan. August 6, 1993 - September 24, 2010.

damn, so young jimboy. i still don't comprehend why god takes only the best sometimes. i guess he has a greater duty for you. shit though, such bad timing. this graduation will be a bit lonely without you. i know it's all good since you be lookin' down on us in a better place now. i wish, i got the chance to know you a lil bit better before you left the world. you're a really nice guy. it's so crazy how one day i see you around, & the next week you're gone foreals. everyone was bawlin' out for you today. i broke down in english. i'm sorry i didn't attend your candlelight ceremony last night. it hasn't been a swell week for me either, especially since you're gone too. thank you so much for reminding me how precious life is. always keep the ones you love close to you cos there ain't no way of knowing who's next to go. rest in peace, jimmy. my prayers go out to you & your family. be good in paradise, alright. ♥

don't look back.

current mood: encouraged.
current song: bobby tinsley - more than my pride.
"i don't wanna fight with you, i wanna make things right with you."

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what's a relationship without a healthy clash once in awhile? you can't have a high, without a low. & thankfully, there are more highs than there are lows. i'm sorry for everything. the past is the past, we'll progress forward together. thanks for telling me what's on your mind, it's not harsh at all. i deserved every one bit of it. to me, i'm not good enough. you might already say that i'm there, but i feel like that title of a good girlfriend is still beyond me. my ignorance initially screws everything up. i failed on my part. always stressin' you out. what sucks is that i can't take anything back... but i can make up for it. & i'm trying, real hard. it's all just a step to step learning process right? hopefully, once we're done learning, there will be nothing but the highs. cross my heart. i promise, i'll be better for you.

the stupid things.

current mood: crappy.

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there i slip again. i'm sorry. why are you still with me?
i don't know why i did it. i guess i'm so used to how i do it at the parties with that environment i went to back then, & how you witnessed me at some before... didn't really seem to bother you as much. so, i thought you'd have the same reaction as always, just whatever. but it's all a different story now since we're not just friends & we're not keeping our status a secret. & how you understood the concept of how i mess around, that girls are girls, as long as it's no guys. that's all i thought about. when i'm in that state i stop caring about whoever thinks & just do dumb shit cos i think that nobody will remember. i didn't pay attention to others around me so didn't know that they did what they did. my carelessness when consuming alcohol is at fault for this. i'm an inconsiderate bitch & i should've thought about how you felt before doing anything. i crossed the line. now, i know. i'm sorry, i keep making you mad, frustrated, irritated. i'm a bad girlfriend. & you deserve better.

thank you.

"Thanks for keeping a secret, Thanks for the lift, Thanks for reconsidering, Thanks for not shooting, Thanks for the drink, Thanks for leading by example, Thanks for letting me think you’re mine when you’re not, Thanks for passing me by, Thanks for noticing, Thanks for the last time we were together, Thanks for the first time we met, Thanks for nothing, Thanks for everything."


- Drake.

optimism.

current song: tank ft. drake - celebration.

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"don't worry, be happy." - bob marley.

letter: day 2.

my crush.

dear philip phi,

lollicup, was it? i swear, hecka stood out to me that day. you was one cuuute nigga. i was feeelin' that swag you was rockin' witcha. too bad i was tied down already. we both were. on the reals tho, when we first met, i thought you was just going to be one of those guys that i'd kickit for one day & completely disappear from my life once it was was over. little did i know, you called me up the next night & wanted to kickit but i couldn't cos i was already busy doin' somes already with my best. wrong timing, tsk tsk. sorry, i didn't process your name until hecka times of repeating. i'm deaf. ): once we finally got to chill, you became more appealing to me since ontop of that physical attraction, you had such a great sense of humor. make my tummy do "haha's" all day. but, i didn't really feeeel it until you came through on my 16th birthday & did the sweetest gesture that anyone's ever done for me. however, it ended after a few weeks when i made the decision to give my runned down relationship another shot. after that, we got distant since you was mad at me for makin' a bad choice with some whackass nigga that's a sad excuse of a man for pullin' sucha low blow. & i understand, im stupid. a couple of months passed, things wasn't workin out which resulted to the official end of my relationship around november & you got out of yours too, which is a weeeird coincidence. we finally started talkin' again & took our connection into a deeper level as friends... BEST friends. around april on our 1 year of knowin' eachother. i realized that i was feelin' you all over again. but i decided to just keep it to myself & wait for it to fade out since it was obvious thatonegirl was still crazy hooked on you. & i ain't like that to go all out for a man that ain't even mines. then again... i hated witnessing how such a sweet guy like you constantly being misjudged & stressin' over nones. you deserved nothing but the best. so, slappin' on some t.swizzle one day, this line got me saaayin, can't you see that i'm the one who understands you? been here all along, so why can't you see, you belong with me, baby. & now that you're mine, i won't ever take you for granted, i promise.

♥

photo: day 2.

current mood: nonchalant.
current song: kanye west ft. adam levine - heard 'em say.
"nothing is promised tomorrow today."

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a picture of myself a year ago.



dance competition [trifecta finalists] @ sac state. highliiight; got to meet victor kim & steve tarada from abdc's season 3 winners, quest crew. & they are the most modest guys ever. (: lowlight; ellen freakin kim from the lost kids & choreo cookies, my idol, was one of the judges & i didn't even get to meet her! wtf. fail. ._.

& the hunt is on.

current mood: busybee.
current song: justin timblerlake ft. snoop dogg - pose.

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i am in desperate need of that c@$h money. senior year is fckin' expensive as heck. adding up for all the senior shit & club fees are almost or to $100 dollars. ontop of that are more... senior activities coming up. it's going to be crazaay. i went to apply to everywhere for a job around my area since my mommy can't drive me anywhere else, asking for positions available & getting as many applications i can get. so far, my only luck has been fast food joints (mcdonalds, carls jr, little cesears, panda express), starbucks, & baskin robins/togos. i wish i can work at jamba juice! but my mom is such an asian driver. she hates going to areas she's not familiar with cos she's horrible with directions. but whateversss. hopefully, i get a call back or something. ._. even though, i know i'm going to be deeeeead tired once i start working. it's all graaaavy. aboutta go beeeeastmode. >:O chyeaaah.

total gleek.

current mood: impressed.
current song: the dream - too good to leave.

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SEASON 2 of Glee was out today. & it was hecka bomb.
premieres every tuesday @ 8 P.M. on fox!
go waaatch it peoples. i got the chillsssss.
minus, self confidence. i wish i can sing like that.

letter: day 1.

my bestfriend(s).

1)
dear annie nguyen,

you've been by far the longest & loyal friend that i've ever had... about 9 years? one more & i already known you for about a decade? it's so crazy how time flies by. it seems like yesterday we were just a couple of kids with nothing to worry about. now we're all grown, & we have a whole life ahead to worry about. honestly, i have no idea where we stand right now, we've been going in separate directions lately. you're doing your thing, i'm doing mines. it's whatever right? i'm glad we're still cool. we don't start shit like other chickas be doin' & when we do actually kickit occasionally, we can still click like we've never been apart. i wish we can catch up. i have so many things to tell you. hopefully, once we're both in college, we'll go back to how we used to be & i can go to you like i have been in the past... whether it's talks, advice, etc. etc. after all this time. i consider you one of the most important people in my life, unconditionally. there's no question about it. i'm always going to be here whenever you need me, forsuuure.

♥

2)
dear babe [mistuhhrrphi],

right now, you're keeping me sane. i feel like you're the one person i can trust the most out of everybody. i can always go to you to talk about whatevers on my mind, good or bad, you always have the right things to say to make me feel better. you're so sweet & considerate; always making sure that i'm okay. even before, you always managed to put the biggest smile on my face with your incredibly charming sense of humor. we had an instant connection from the start. i can just be myself & spill my heart out to you. it's nice to have someone that understands exactly what you're going through... "same boat or what?" lookie where we are at now though... finally at tahitia. & i must say, it's been a paradise having you in my life. thanks for everything you've done & continue to do for me each day. without a doubt, you're my superman.

♥

photo: day 1.

current mood: reminded.
current song: jackie boyz - train of thought.

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my facebook picture.
senior bbq (9/3). some guy came through & gave us an aspiring speech about others; everyone is struggling, we should all get along, be a bigger person. circle; group of people. wrote time capsule about overall highschool exp. reading it in 10 years @ reunion. got to reconnect with people again. hot day. wet grass. foods okay. not that crackin, but memorable.


joann yang, me, thuy nguyen, dianna ngo.

i'm dooown.

30 Day Photo Challenge

day 1. your facebook profile photo

day 2. a photo of yourself a year ago

day 3. a photo that makes you laugh

day 4. a photo of you as a baby

day 5. a photo of your bestfriend(s)

day 6. a photo of someone you love

day 7. a photo of something you enjoy doing

day 8. a photo of last summer

day 9. a photo that makes you happy

day 10. a photo of your family

day 11. a photo of what you ate today

day 12. a photo of your favorite band/musician

day 13. a photo of the last place you went on holiday

day 14. a photo of one of your favourite family members

day 15. a photo of your favorite film(s)

day 16. a photo of you at the last party you went to

day 17. a photo of you on a school trip

day 18. a photo of you standing up

day 19. a photo of your town

day 20. a photo of your favorite weekend

day 21. a photo of you and someone you love

day 22. a photo of the last thing you bought

day 23. a photo of your dream car

day 24. a photo of your humorous face expression

day 25. a photo of you that your hair looks nice in

day 26. a photo of the week's weather

day 27. a photo of a place you like to eat/drink

day 28. a photo of a night you loved

day 29. a photo of someone you find attractive

day 30. a photo of you when you were happy

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The 30 Day Letter Challenge
WRITE A LETTER TO THESE PEOPLE :

Day 1 — Your best friend

Day 2 — Your crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

i'm not going to do these according to the following days. i'm going to do it when i feel like it. there might be some days i might just leave blank. cos there's no point for a letter.
[[thanks2emilyly]]

not just another day.

current mood: pleased.
current song: makio - can i come over.

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am i tired of you? never.



you say that you feel sorry for me since we never do anything out of the ordinary & it's just the same routine of just "chilling." but what you should know is that your company alone means alot to me. i don't care what we do, where we are, who we're with, as long as we get to spend time together. i know these days will be scarce once you go back to school & if i start working ontop of other things, we won't have this amount of time we do now. to me, these days aren't just any other day, they've certainly been the greatest. forsure, doing things out of the usual with other people can't compare to the simple days we spend with eachother cos you're my definition of happiness.

on the highway.

current mood: preoccupied.
current song: marques houston ft. imx - good for life.

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"have you ever looked into a stranger's car & wondered where they're headed from or towards... what is their life like? how good they have it? is their life full of joy or sorrows? i just want them to know... if they ever look into the car i'm in... they can see how lucky i am, since i have him by my side."

passion, pain, & pleasure.

current mood: admirable.
current song: trey songz - you just need me.

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at first listening to the triple P's, i was kinda doubting it a bit... how it wasn't as good as his third debut album, Ready. plus, there were certain tracks that i wasn't quite feelin' as much as i felt about the songs on his previous album. but after hearing it over & over in babe's car cos he is a dedicated fan to his idol triggaaa, i grew quite fond of all the tracks & realized that this album was one of his big break-throughs consisting of ingenuous concepts that everyone can relate to. like, babe saids, he is maturing more than just an artist who incorporates S-E-X in his music. so i highly recommend supporting that Trey Songz, & purchasing his fourth debut album which is in stores everywhere now since 9/14! help make this platinum, get it while it's fah fah freeesh. (:


for a preview & sales of Passion, Pain, & Pleasure:
http://phisayswhat.blogspot.com/2010/09/passion-pain-pleasure.html

it's all for you.

oh snaaaps. i'm hecka feelin' this.
April Bombao of Boogie Monstarz who was personally trained my Phil Tayag of the known Jabbawockeez himself; i can't wait to get back in dancing & learn from her again. i love her upbeat energy & cleverness with choreography.
go support her & many others at Public Display IV on 6/18 hosted by Xposed Dance Co.

LOCATION:
Sheldon High School. [yeee`, represeeent.]
PAC (Performing Arts Center)
8333 KINGSBRIDGE DR.
SACRAMNETO CA, 95829

TICKETS:
$15.00 @ THE DOOR
$10.00 PERSALE

Performances by: Xposed Dance Co., The Company, Boogie *Monstarz. ASAP Dance Company. Academy of Villians, Super Galactic Beat Manipulators, R.E.P. Project, Press P.L.A.Y, Wrawsome, StepBoys, Kool Krush Krew, On Point Dance, & thatONEcompany.

& WORKSHOP.. which i will hecka try to get in to...

LOCATION:
Dance 2D Rhythm Studio
9257 Laguna Springs
Elk Grove, CA

Registration (starts @ 11:30am):
$30.00 FOR ALL (6) CLASSES!
($5 a class, good deal, foreeal.)

CHOREOGRAPHERS TEACHING:
* DEREK JAVAR (XDC, Boogie Monstarz, Press P.L.A.Y.)
* MOON LEE (2nd Nature Crew)
* CJ "2SAUCE" EDWARDS (ABDC's Heavy Impact, Expressive Doubt LA, Breed, Mavyn)
* BRIAN INES (Boogie Monstarz)
* CRYSTAL MERAZ (Academy of Villians, The Lost Kids, Neverland) & PHARSIDE (ABDC's Supreme Soul)
* AMANDA GRIND (Boogie Monstarz, Press P.L.A.Y.)

i might show up if i'm not too broke! see you thereee.

positive > negative.

current song: taeyang - where u at.

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you ain't the only one.

current mood: retrospective.
current song: lupe fiasco - go to sleep.

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even the most seemingly perfect person can be eminently flawed. & these imperfections that each individual possesses are problems. everyone are accommodated by them. depending on how much tolerance is carried in your mental capacity will determine the way that you handle the conflicts.
some may choose to avoid the conflict unrighteously; resorting to alcohol or substance abuse which escalates into violent behaviors towards themselves & others. however, pthers may choose to be productive in their time; either working excessive amounts or obsessively engaging in favored hobbies. by doing so, they are desperately trying to cover up their problems . little did they know, by running away from it, the problem will always be apparent since it was never resolved in the first place.
individuals who are weak minded; avoidance can be accepted during certain situations. if the problem seems to be temporary. "if we don't mind these problems, they will go away." -tuiku. be patient; & wait until your mental stability increases, then you can go back to resorting problem. once you do, the conflict should be identified, & the next step is to let reality hit you towards accepting it. find the source of to as why you are feeling the way you feel. don't deny any emotions, even if they are painful, it's best to let them out even if it means shedding a few tears. allowing grief will be the one process closer towards healing. once fully recovered, the behavior should be more optimistic. keep in mind that no matter how cloudy the weather is, there is always a chance for a sunny day.

i know this, cos back in the day, believe it or not... i struggled in my life. i was confused on who i was & why some people are out in this world just to hurt others. & once i finally got hurt... it never really struck me on how much it of an impact it was until the last one was added on which was kinda like... the cherry on top of my issues. the certain people who caused me to feel this way were deceitful, rude, liars, or they just wasn't there for me or couldn't be there for me when i needed them the most. i couldn't trust anyone & although i have a full family... it felt like i was coming home to an empty house; the closest one i had was my brother, but unfortunately he was slowly changing & disappearing in my life.
i had no one by my side. & since i was young & naive... i resorted to the wrong methods to ease myself, sometimes i would sneak the alcohol from the cabinet for a few shots to do so. it helped, but it didn't make things any better for me. i was at a dead end where i didn't know how to get out of. this confusion led me to question life, like what reason is there for me to be here? i couldn't find any legitimate ones. sometimes, i would try to get away from it temporarily by sleeping, sometimes i wish i can just sleep forever. & i really did... i thought about ending my life. however, i didn't do it... i was afraid & plus i wanted to wait on time to tell me where my life should go next. definitely, waiting turned out for the best; i finally found the missing pieces to my life, realizing that all the negatives aren't worth losing all the positives in your life. once you have reached the bottom of it all, you have no where to go but up.

now it got me thinking... how certain people over exaggerate on how bad they have it in their lives over the most irreasonable situations when obviously there are others in the world who have it worst. i hate how they act like they are the only people in the world who go through such things such as getting out of a relationship with your supposed "one & only." & what's more ridiculous is that they want to threaten their lives over it. alrighty... just cos whatever didn't work out like you wanted it to, doesn't mean it's the end of the damn world.  it's stupid & a selfish thing to say especially if you gotta family, friends that are there for you, a roof over your heads, clothes to wear, food to eat... then life should be good, if not satisfactory. not many people in the world can be as fortunate to have that. so, the next time you're trippin & making a big deal out of stupid shit. just know, that in this world, there's always going to be someone who's having it worse than you are.

value of time.

current song: owl city - the saltwater room.
"time together is just never quite enough."

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"Time is priceless, but it’s free. You can’t own it, you can use it. You can spend it, but you can’t keep it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back."

- The Time Traveller’s Wife.

guess what?

current mood: delighted.
current song: jojo - never say goodbye.
"no denying, i'm in love with you."

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happy two months, babe. like i said before, simply words can't describe how significant you are to my life. i haven't really felt this way before, about someone. you're amazing. it still surprises me how things turned out for us since i never would have predicted that we would be where we are today. something that started off as a crush evolved into something of more meaning than expected. however, everything went out to be better since now i have you, in the best way possible. & when i'm with you, it's like a breath of fresh air. i can just be me & the trace of any problem, worry, or fear would fade away. "great minds think alike," & we certainly do at times. we have the utter most deepest level of understanding. we try to do our best to never put one another down. every aspect about us, i admire. i know, we had our shares of mistakes, but i'm learning... we both are, & certainly we are growing more and more stronger as a couple. one of the things i want to break is your fear of us leaving eachother for some flaws. it's well aware of that no one is perfect. so, i promise that i'll put my best foot forward to make the sun shine through the clouds for us to work cos i want this more than anything. usually, i'm the type who would say a couple of months don't mean much & love doesn't come that easy within such a short amount of time. but you're an exception to that cos at this point, i can feel that this connection is sincere & real. just imagining you not being a part of my life is hard to handle. i'm wise enough to understand this isn't lust. it's a fact that i love you, & i'm going to continue to as God permits me.

already know.

current song: ghostface killah ft. ne-yo - back like that.

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"Friends can be hard on you. Maybe they expect more from you than strangers. Strangers pretty much see you the way you want them to see you. But you can’t fool friends. That’s what makes them friends."
- Pretty Little Liars

marshmallow.

current mood: fortunate.
current song: genuwine - differences.

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i love that i am able to have something to look forward once school ends. i get to see you. & you make my everyday. i'm going to miss your face once you go back to Davis.
thanks for all the help since school started, from supplies, to homework, & staying up with me until i finish so that we can both "sleep together" even though we aren't together. & those cosiderate afterschool surprises with my favorite jamba juice & a parmesan sourdough pretzel. cos you know that i don't eat anything until i go home. you make me happy. (:
most importantly, i would like to thank god for letting me have someone as awesome as you in my life. ♥



you really are.

there's no point.

current mood: compassionate.
current song: gabe bondoc - treat you good.

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"but what's a relationship without a little pain?"
- AM Kidd.

mhm, i gotcha. sometimes you gotta be sad to know what happiness feels like. what happens when sadness overrides the happiness? is it really worth it? you really think that particular person is "the one" just cos of the quantity of time invested in the relationship? does that make up for the quality of that time? no, it doesn't.
first off, if someone isn't willing to risk their pride over for someone that they love... what does that make them? selfish. why do you have to be the only one who's working hard? trying to make things work, putting the pieces back together when they are bound to fall apart, making sure that they are happy when the feeling isn't being reciprocated back? it's not fair to you. don't cater to some punkass bitch, who's not willing to lift a finger for you.
second, once a cheater, always a cheater. from personal experience, i had to learn the hard way. it's disgusting how someone would be up on some other hoes then tryna front & come back to you. you dunno where their shit has been. if they do that, then how much respect do they have for you? none. sure, sucka ass nigga can suck up & say sorry. but is it sincere? how do you know they're not finna try to pull somethin' like that again? thats right, you DON'T know. better safe than sorry. be smart, & just dip. if a niggas finna pull some bitch move like that, then they really don't have any consideration towards you, or the relationship.
third, someone who dares to lay their hands on you for a pity argument is unacceptable. & continuing to stay in that position is not healthy. physical abuse in a relationship is the lowest blow. not only does it fuck you up literally, but it effects your emotional also. how do you explain to the people that really care for you, those marks, bruises, etc. they don't give a damn about you if they're just going to use you in the worst way for their trippin' ass issues.
fourth, like i said before, sometimes... conflicts are two words from being fixed, depending on the situation... "i'm sorry." is that really so damn hard to say? if someone fucked up. they should accept the consequences & realize that what they did was absolutely wrong. don't let them get it twisted, & expect an apology from you when you clearly were not at fault. they really don't give a shit if they don't know when to apologize. all their wrongs are suddenly right? hell naw. a real person would accept their faults & make their shit up regardless.
finally... don't ever take someone back, after one of the most biggest fuck ups they've done. using love as an excuse to stay isn't going to cover up for all the hurtful bullshit you've been put through. if the problem keeps occurring, then isn't it obvious that nothings been fixed yet? yeah, they can say sorry a million times, & kiss ass. but they didn't really mean it if they continue to repeat the same mistakes over & over again. if you're just going to continuously take them back for every fuck up they did. they're not going to learn anything. & they will take advantage of how much you love them just to fuck you over again, hurting you within the process. no matter how much you'll think it will hurt, just leave them. make them realize how great of a catch you are, & how hard it will be to find someone else like you.
it's really funny sometimes... how people would degrade themselves to sink to such a low level to be with someone that clearly doesn't deserve them. you can forgive, but you can't ever forget.
foreaaals, don't get played, learn how to play the game.

http://phisayswhat.blogspot.com/2010/09/game.html