gotchur face.

Perishability in a photograph is important in a picture. If a photograph looks perishable we say, "Gee, I'm glad I have that moment."
- John Loengard

bonding time!

current mood: renewing.
current song: bruno mars - just the way you are.

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okay, i think babe layed our trip all out. so, i'll just give a brief kinda thingy, yeah?
http://phisayswhat.blogspot.com/2010/07/camping-lawsons-landing.html

friday (6/23)
the drive there was pretty chill. 1st stop; picked up john. i realized that i met him before at a PIC meeting with christina. he's a nice guy with some guitar skills. makes me feel shitty cos i barely picked up my guitar. 2nd stop; picked up amanda. she seems like a shy girl. really quiet. but kind. thanks for lettting us blast our music guys. :) during the drive, i warned them that they better take their last shit in a nice bathroom once we make our pitt stop at some nearby town. we decided to stop by a starbucks in petaluma. i never heard of that place in my life. but, we were about an hour away from our destination: dillion's beach. john and amanda didn't want to do # 2. they just peed. while me and babe were trying to force it out. i kinda failed since i didn't get to fully release it. while babe succeeded but his testicles hurt. LOL. sorry to hear that hun.
after our business was done at starbucks. we headed out towards our long rest of the journey to dillion's beach. on the road near there, i noticed that there was drastic a change in weather. it was sunny clear skies just a few moments ago. now, it's all gloomy, foggy, & the sun was no where to be found. it was like... we walked into an eternal winter. me and babe got concerned cos we didn't pack the right clothes. shit, super fail.
once passing through all the cows... farmland... and everything. we finally reached our destination around 8-9 PM. late ass arrival since the rest were there since like noon. i spotted the beach. it wasn't the ideal beach i was looking for. it looked fuckin' freeeeezing. & the weather was not crackin' at all. we tried getting through the camp site.. which was lawson's landing located a mile away from it. but, babe was underage so we had to wait for an adult within 25 years of age to come through. angry ass ladiesss tho. they kept muggin' us from the car and giving babe hecka attitude. i swear... its cos they haven't got laid in awhile or something. bizatches. middle fingers up to yaa. thank gosh, alex's mom offered to get us.
looking around the area, i was kinda surprised on the number of people. there lots of headdds. hecka crazaaay how people would come all the way out there to camp in such a melancholy setting. once we got to the campsite, there was already a tent set up for us. thanks christina. we unpacked our things, and the hardest part was setting up the air mattress. took us days... but after awhile we got it. alex made us sandwiches. i was sad that we missed making smores... but all goood always tomorrow. we spent the rest of the night chilling with the group (xtina, najee, alex, angie [alexsis], channing, john, & amanda.) in christina's tent. babe and i couldn't get our minds off of how good it feels to shower. we felt stuffy in the current atmosphere even though it was freezing. we decided to head to back to our tent and get ready for bed. things felt a lil better. so cold, but body warmth ftw. <3

saturday (6/24)
violently woke up around 9 AM; had a bad dream about missing the whole day at camp. sorry for startling you babe. :(
breakfast; alex's mom prepared us some tortillas with eggs, ham, and all that. pretty good.
i had urge to finish the rest of my #2. long ass debating time. but since everyone went to climb the "sandy mountain," babe took me to CVS about 45 minutes away from camp to do my thang. ugh... that bathroom was so cleaaaaan. i missed it.
back to chilling; played mafia. me & babe made the gameee foreaaals. i got away with being the killaaa. >:D poor john though. kept gettin' blamed.
dillion's beach; after mafia. everyone went to do their own thang. while me & babe decided check out the beach since i never really had a fulfilling beach experience. i just seen one. no contact. we got there & realized that our attire wasn't cool since it was freakin' sandy. walked all the way back to lawson's landing to redress. & trip back to beach. it was fckin' ice colddd the first time we went into the water. after awhile.. our bodies got used to the temperature. not that bad anymore. took lots of pics.
back to campsite; turns out everyone ate already & were waiting for us. people were planning to go catch some crabbies. we tagged along since they were all fighting for babe to give them a ride. too popular. got 'em falling in love er what? (;
the dock; it was hecka cold. babe didn't really have a warm sweater since the one he brought got wet, for reason unknown. we decided to go back to our tents to be warm. i noticed that baby integra was freakin' warmer than our tent. so we just chilled in there & camera whored our time away.
ultimate bonding; after the group was done crabbie catching. we decided to process the highlight of the day which was making smores! yummy yummy. it was bomb together. but the ingredients alone are kinda whack.
misunderstood; everyone went back to christina's tent. while me and babe chilled with the adults. russell (christina's mom's boyfriend) thought that we didn't like him cos of the look we supposedly gave him when he told us that people were waiting for us. sorry man. eventually we got everything cleared up & got along with good terms. although, i wasn't feelin' how he's always judging me by my age. & thinking we're ignorant cos of it. well.. i understand. but i still don't think age defines your maturity level. its how you carry yourself that really defines what age you are. not just some number.
end of the day; we left the adults since most of 'em are heading to bed. we went back to the group and spent the night away playing some mafia. eventually me and babe got tired while the rest were still rowd. we went back to our tent. & boy... was it frustrating. the zipper malfunctioned and it wouldn't freakin' close. after hecka hours.. we thought we got it all fixed. then just decided to knock out. a few minutes later, we noticed that the gap in the zipper was still there. & the cold air was coming through our tent. we just gave up on fixing it. & dealt with the cold. some bitchassness... foreals.

sunday (6/25)
rise & shine around 9 AM; alex woke us since we all needed to pack up and head home. we stuffed alla our things back in baby integra. babe didn't wear a jacket cos he's a tough cookie. he couldn't wait to dip back to civilization, & i couldn't either. once we got done packing, me and babe ate the chicken that channing brought & just chilled with the crew before we had to leave. i had my last few moments of camera whoring with everyone. then, around noon. christina's family decided to leave early. while me, babe, najee, alex, his mommy, angie, john, & amanda were the ones left back. we decided to help alex's mom pack up since she's been helping us survive the most. i thought.. paying russell that $10 was a huge ripoff since we barely ate anything of his. it's mostly just alex's mom feeding us. but oh well. thanks for everything. you're sure one super mommy. (x
after we got most of the stuff put away. me and babe decided to start our adventure back home along with john & amanda since well... we're their ride. once almost headed towards home. we decided to stop by davis so i can shower. ohhhmaaagoooosh. felt hecka good. then we dropped the two of them back home. & ended the day chilling at babe's house. i thought everything was just going to be a relaxing day. we went to rite-aid to get some icecream. & alla the sudden i get a text from my sister informing me that we're having a late bday dinner for my dad. i'm like... foreals... now you tell me? so, we rushed to get a card there and babe dropped me off home. i gave the card to my dad. & napped until dinner time.
when we were finished eating. i asked my sister if she would drop me off at phi's. she was cool with it. i got back. me and babe decided to watched ip man which was a movie about martial arts with the brehbreh son and his mommy. good stuff.

this weekend, was alot of fails. hopefully, it will better prepare us next time if we ever go camping again. you live & learn, right? ;p
i realized how much people take life for granted. some people think they have it the worst even though they have all they need. people to love, food to eat, a roof under their heads... etc. it's not until you have everything taken away from you that you really understand how good you have it. but why wait for everything to disappear just to realize it?

preparing for survival.

current mood: reflective.
current song: phi and myles talking over dragon ball z episode...

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this weekend was such an interesting experience for me. i went on my first camping trip with a few of my friends and i asked if my boyfriend could tag along also. my good friend christina planned the trip... well.. her mother's boyfriend did. & i guess she asked if she can bring some friends. when i was first informed of the location.. which was on a beach. i kinda envisioned like.. a nice bonfire with tents parked on the sand.
there was a list of supplies that were enlisted to bring. what me and phi were caught up on was the tents and air mattress. neither of us had any & no doubt that our friends would have it... so, a week before, we made a stop to big 5 to stock on the stuff we needed. there were hecka brands. but one that we were stuck up on the most were the tents. cos there were TWO, that were exactly the same shit but different brands. therefore, we asked for some assistance on which one we should get. this asian guy helped us. & we explained to him our situation. he freakin... brainwashed us or something. cos he made camping seem more serious that we thought it was. he made us buy all this stupid shit. & we're like.. okay. i guess if we don't use it, we can just go back and return it. camping.. is for ballers, foreals.
before the trip, i would check my facebook msgs for any new updates. christina said that she might have a tent for us. so, we're like.. oh shit.. why'd we buy this stupid shit for? lol. we could've returned it, but i guess the smart thing to do is keep the tent we bought, and just compare it to the other tent when we check it out. then, christina told us that she needed to fit 2 people in a car since there was no more room. babe offered to give them a ride, since they can help pitch in for the expensive fee of $52 there for 2 nights.
friday (6/23) arrived, & we still had some errands to run beforehand. christina informed us late notice that it's going to be cold there. once we got the news, we were still cool... thinking that it would just be the night time. cos... aren't nights usually cold? i still needed a bathing suit for the beach. freakin' badass phi, decided to miss class since we have some things to do. we had a laggy start and didn't get out of bed til like... 2. first, we had to get ready, pack, then get directions to the camping site and the two people that we were picking up. they were john and amanda. i knew both of them, since i would see them around school. but we never really talked talked. anyways... we got everything down & finally left davis around... 3.
during our car ride, i felt like we forgot something. suddenly it hit me, one of the most important keys... DIRECTIONS! i turned to babe, i asked if he got it. & he's like... oh shit. then.. i guess since we're stopping by my house for warmer clothes, mind as well stop by phi's place to get directions. so, everything was all good.
first stop, was the mall for my bathing suit. all the stores.. were out of bathing suits or its just straight up ugly. then, we just settled for macy's and luckily it had exactly what i was looking for. just simple colors. i decided to go for this indigo one. after we got it... i thought to myself. why not make it shorter & get a jacket here. we backtracked to anchor blue to get a sweater. i thought it would turn out cheaper since it's pretty simple. but.. shit was like 30 dollars. sorry baby. ): thanks for everything tho. <3
we left the mall, & headed back to elk grove. finally, stopping by at phi's house to eat and get whatevers needed. i felt bad that we promised to pick them up around 3. so, i called john up to reassure him that we're still on our way. but, i felt bad for amanda since she didn't give me a number to contact her. we didn't get done til like five or six. it was three more hours than the original plan. i felt hecka bad. thank gosh, they both were so patient. you guys are awesome blossoms. :) oh yeah... did i mention... i lost my sunglasses again? >;/ fml. oh wells.

new beginnings.

current song: atozzio - apologize.

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"Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year. It’s an event - big or small, something that changes us. Ideally it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, letting go of old habits, old memories. What´s important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it’s also important to remember amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to."

- Greys Anatomy.

ride or die.

current song: eminem - space bound.

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When you’re the bestfriend, you can’t help but care too much. You get sad when they’re sad. Happy when they’re happy. Worried when they are.. But during the times when they’re at their worst, you know you just want to be there for them. No matter what. To listen. To understand. To show that you’re concerned. To let them know that it’s okay to cry because they have a shoulder to lean on. It’s challenging being a bestfriend at times. Because when they’re at their weakest, you have to stay strong for the both of you. When they’re feeling hopeless, you need to be the most optimistic and most positive you can be for them. When they are afraid of what lies ahead, you have to be the one that will hold their hand and say, “There’s no need to be scared.. Because I’m with you in every step of the way.” The challenges. The obstacles. The pain. & the hardwork. They pay off. Everyday. It’s when you get a cheer-up text from them. It’s when you go out of town for the weekend and know that there’s someone who’s going to miss you & will wait for you. It’s when you’re having a bad day, but one latenight chat with them, makes it a good day just before you go to sleep. It’s when you start to feel like you have another sibling and another home.. One of the best things in life is to be someone’s bestfriend. Not everyone gets to have one that they get to keep for a very long time.. So if you have a best friend right now, cherish them. Love them & hug them often. Treat them right. Laugh with them a whole lot. And don’t you ever, ever.. take them for granted.



est; April... sometime before picnic day! haha.
♥

don't hate, appreciate.

current mood: thoughtful.
current song: ne-yo - never knew i needed.

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i had a list of things i wanted to accomplish. babe read it, & he wanted to help me complete it. i was like naw. stop being sucha baller. dang, i can't stop him ever. :( he's a real poopyhead. STOP treating me so good, nigga. geeez. haha.
a haircut was on my list. therefore... yesterday, he went to take me out for a haircut. we were about to go to the place that i favored the most. but, i wanted to check out his salon on Mack Rd. cos haaay, i'm up for new things. the workers were very welcoming. i had phi's lady cut my hair. she sure had a great sense of humor. although, the turnout of my hair wasn't what i wanted... i was hoping for something new or different. everything just looked the same still. i didn't mind cos its the thought that counts & at least she didn't fuck up like the previous one i had. i realized that asian ladies.. just all do the same thang. so.. i'm not going to expect much anymore. lol. then... babe surprised me by also helping me get my ears piercing checked off. gosh, hun. you so fckin' AWEsoome. (:
afterwards, we went back the ho's fambam residence cos babe's mommy made some bombass noodles with meatieees. when we arrived there, i finally met his baby cousin ryan who i've been anticipating to meet since foreverrrr. he's such a menaceee. >:( tryna attack me & shiiiit. it's all graavy. i'm going to grow on him eventually. >:D i'm up for the challenge. "caw caw, rawrrrr." >:o take that, fatass! pwahah. he's suureee one conceited kid though; really feens for that camera. cocky ass... wonder where he got it from... ? phi van ho's such an influence on little kids these days. :o jkaaay.
anyways... thanks for everything boo. you just be comin' off the top as bestessttt. ♥

AYEE, ryan... why you sucha soopaaamodeel for, huh?
troi oi, dep chai wa. (;

on the reals though... i know certain people that tend to expect too much from others, not realizing what they've received is already enough. if something doesn't come to turn out the way they wanted... they expect the other person to make it up to them. well, maybe its YOUR fault that things didn't turn out that way. don't blame the other person. you're in control of your OWN actions. shit, it's already nice enough that they're offering to come out of their way to do certain things for you. respect is a two way fucking street. learn how to appreciate the little things that people do for you especially if they never ask for anything back. stop being so selfish. don't talk to someone just so they can owe you favors. what kind of friend are you if you do that? damn.

my plans for life.

current mood: faaailll.
current song: trey songz - wake up.

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buuurhLuurh.

current song: jason mraz - make it mine.

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no place like home?

current mood: vexed.
current song: young jeezy ft. drake - lose my mind.

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oh parents...
"why do you go out so much? you should just go out once a week."
first fucking off, i was OUT only on the fucking weekend this week since i got home. you're acting as if i go out everyday. pay the fuck attention. I'M HOME. foreals... you're in over your heads. why the fuck is there any point of me being home if there's absolutely NOTHING for me to be home for. me going out is exactly the same as me staying home. when i am home, all i do is stay in my room all day. you guys don't fucking communicate with me or try to.. & once you do, its to criticize me and give me a pointless lecture that you repeated millions of times. shit, I KNOW, i HEARD you, i'm not retarded. you seriously don't see me as anything. you make me feel like crap. all you guys ever do is constantly remind me how much lower i am than my sister when i try talking to you. well, shit. i'm so sorry i can't be good as her or smart as she is. your mistake for having me. so, live with it. cos ima keep doing me. i'm going to be STUPID, be REBELLIOUS, & be THE KID YOU NEVER WANTED, like you always tell me right? yeah.

get at that.

current mood: inquisitorial.
current song: t.i. - let me tell you something.

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i am really in need of...

a job > i need money. ughh.
license/a car > why don't you trust me driving, parents? i needa get out of this house.
a hobby > i miss dancing, period.
a gym membership > fuck. running around outside is hell, atm.
cable > i hate comcast's new requirements.
a camera > i like taking random pictures & recording pointless videos.
new phone > chocolate 3's are getting retarded.
a haircut > stupid bangs, always in my face. gtfo.
piercings > i needa reshoot my ears, & stab my lip.
new clothes > i'm tired of you, old clothes.
glasses/contacts > i'm getting blind.
jamba juice > orgasm in my mouth. no lie.

H I M >
i miss your face.
i think i'm gay. 
<3

unthinkable (remix).

"Cause you know life is what we make it &
a chance is like a picture, it’d be nice if you just take it."

- Drake.

& it's official.

current mood: happy happy. :)
current song: alicia keys ft. drake - unthinkable.

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feeeel goood.

current song: kid cudi - know why.

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