current mood: encouraged.
current song: bobby tinsley - more than my pride.
"i don't wanna fight with you, i wanna make things right with you."
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what's a relationship without a healthy clash once in awhile? you can't have a high, without a low. & thankfully, there are more highs than there are lows. i'm sorry for everything. the past is the past, we'll progress forward together. thanks for telling me what's on your mind, it's not harsh at all. i deserved every one bit of it. to me, i'm not good enough. you might already say that i'm there, but i feel like that title of a good girlfriend is still beyond me. my ignorance initially screws everything up. i failed on my part. always stressin' you out. what sucks is that i can't take anything back... but i can make up for it. & i'm trying, real hard. it's all just a step to step learning process right? hopefully, once we're done learning, there will be nothing but the highs. cross my heart. i promise, i'll be better for you.
i don't mean to sound harsh thru my expression but i didn't want to just say " i ain't feelin what the fck you doin' & i'd like it if you stop." because then i feel like i'm just telling you to do something without a reason as to why? and i feel like when the "why" is missing, i'm just bossing you around or forcing you to do something :(
ReplyDeletethat's why i had to tell you everything that led me up to why i was mad at you and give you a choice. it wasn't ever about not trusting you, or me thinking it's going to happen again, but just to tell you why i was mad. and to let you have the freedom to make your own choices. i'm sorry.
ReplyDeletethat song also came to mind when i was drivin' back after the bed delivery, and i decided to call you when i got back because my time with you is limited. i didn't want to spend it fighting.
ReplyDeleteand i realized that i do love you more than my pride when i was sitting in your chair. cause nobody gets to me like you did. i'm sorry i spammed your comment box but i didn't feel like writing a blog about this and being reminded of the unpleasant memories.
ReplyDeletep.s. sorry for the misunderstandings
ReplyDelete