stfu.

current mood: pugnacious.
current song: drake - fear.

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dear daddy and mommy,

you say you love me? that's not the case. maybe i'm not a good enough daughter to you. but to me, you're not good enough to be my parents. you say all this crap like you know me like the back of your hand. but all you do is make up shit and judge me as if what you say were true. & every bit of what you say is always right. but really, you don't know me at all & you'll never understand me as a person, or as a daughter. you go by all these morals that you say you respect but you're always against them. then to make it seem like the worst thing, you throw God into the whole mix. how can you say that you guys are truly Catholic when you don't even fucking go to church every Sunday. you don't pray everyday. you don't even know when the important dates such as Ash Wednesday and Easter are, & you don't even know how to sacrifice for lent. so please, get this through both of your stubborn heads. you're not Catholic. i know both of you look down on me. & you say you wish i was never born and hope that i get run over by a car & just die already. alright, i'll accept that. the only thing holding me back from leaving both of you is school. otherwise, i really don't need you either. one more year and a half to go. i'll be gone. & make your wish come true. we can go on without knowing each other. then you can say i got run over by a damn car. you know, i love you to death as my parents. but right now, thinking about it, i've felt that i love the existence of having both parents. some kids don't have any. you can say i'm blessed. lucky, i have my material things, roof under my head, food to eat. but i've always felt like i'm missing a complete family. i always wanted cousins, aunts, uncles, family reunions, vacations. especially on the holidays where i hear that all my friends are spending time with their families. i don't have that. i never had that. & i wish i did know what it feels like, to have a warmth of a family. it's just usually me, by myself. you both don't even communicate with me. & when we do. it doesn't turn out good. so whats the point of me being home stuck with both of you? locking me up in this fucking house where it just feels like i'm alone. won't make me stay home. makes me want to run even more. the only people who understand me are my sister and my friends. you won't understand that because you both never had any true friends. so shut the fuck up because you DON'T know me, at all. thanks.

& God, im so sorry. for breaking the word of my lent right now. for cussing. i'm sorry. but dang... God, im so tired of this. i'm so tired of them. so tired of being here. :/